paramoral:

i-hate-the-beach:

hentai-ass:

missdanidaniels:

w0tdaactualfuck:

aduhm:

dirtylittledamsel:

tmodm19:

She cut off the tattoo of he ex’s name, put it in a jar and mailed it to him.

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What even the fuck?

Holy shit!!!

Breaking up with bae like

AS IF HAHAHA. THIS GIRL LIVES REALLY NEAR ME IT WAS LOCAL NEWS EVERYONE KNOWS HAHA.

Metal as fuck.

lovesexdevotion:

That was so beautiful

lovesexdevotion:

That was so beautiful

"I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad"
- Kurt Cobain  (via rikkarda)

kruel-kid:

me:

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you:

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transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.

transdimensionalboundaries:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

WALNUT.

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

onlinegf:

onlinegf:

send me your best pick up line

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mrsweasley:

jebiwonkenobi:

I never feel like more of a failure than when I can’t remember a piece of Harry Potter trivia. 

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mrsweasley:

jebiwonkenobi:

I never feel like more of a failure than when I can’t remember a piece of Harry Potter trivia. 

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